Joseph, Ambivalence, and a Chanukah Rant

December 18th: Mikketz
THIS WEEK IN THE TORAH
Rabbi David E. Ostrich

As the story of Joseph progresses, we see all kinds of ups and downs. Joseph begins the Torah portion in prison, abandoned by his family, betrayed by his master’s wife, and scorned by his master. He is even forgotten by the Pharaoh’s cupbearer—a friend who Joseph is hoping will help him get out of prison. However, things soon change—after two years of waiting! When the Pharaoh has disturbing dreams, the cupbearer suddenly remembers Joseph and his ability to interpret dreams. Joseph is whisked out of prison, cleaned up, and offered to the Pharaoh as the key to understanding these mysterious messages. Though Joseph has had a tendency toward arrogance, in front of the Pharaoh, he finally shows some humility. “Pharaoh said to Joseph, ‘I have had a dream, but no one can interpret it. Now I have heard it said of you that for you to hear a dream is to tell its meaning.’ Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, ‘Not I! God will see to Pharaoh’s welfare.’” (Genesis 41.15-16)

The rest is history. Joseph interprets the Pharaoh’s dreams and is elevated to the heights of the Egyptian government. He supervises the storage of grain during the years of plenty and the dispensing of grain during the years of famine. He is wealthy, powerful, and respected. He marries a woman of great status, and they have two sons. We do not know his feelings about his family back in Canaan—whether his memories are angry or sad or simply forgotten, but his past does not stay in the past. One day his brothers show up in Egypt hoping to purchase grain, and Joseph is face to face with his tormentors. 

Eventually, Joseph shows compassion for his family. However, he toys with his brothers for quite a while, testing them and putting them under additional stress. One can almost sense an ambivalence in Joseph as he considers what should be done to/for his family. Eventually, he does the right thing, but, along the way, he seems to have all kinds of thoughts about what to do.

Ambivalence. Ambivalence! How often are we caught between competing values or divergent sensibilities. It is a ubiquitous human trait, but happy occasions seem to bring out a special dose of ambivalence. Why do we feel the need to mitigate our joy? On the one hand, we may be fearful that celebration today will precede tragedy tomorrow. Thus does the Tradition prescribe, whenever something is good—a baby looking beautiful, a success achieved, an escape managed, we punctuate our joy with the phrase “kayn ahorah / k’ayin hara / against the Evil Eye.” We do not want to invoke calamity. Even when counting a minyan, Tradition warns us not to count “1, 2, 3, 4, etc.” Lest we invoke the Evil Eye to reduce our number by a hitherto unplanned tragedy, we are taught to count, “Not 1, Not 2, Not 3”–all the way up to “Not 10.” Being too happy can be dangerous!

On the other hand, we know that all happiness is fleeting—that it will not last. Thus we have a unique human ability to ignore good things because bad things are certain to come along at some point in the future. We can be very good at not enjoying joy.

On the third hand, there can be a narrowness in the human soul that wants to rain on other people’s parades. If we are feeling bad about something—anything, why should someone else get to feel good?

Unfortunately, Chanukah is among the prime times for this pitiable human tendency. I see it almost every year in those Chanukah editorials one sees in newspapers. In an attempt to add some multicultural sensitivity to news coverage, editors grab some column by some Jewish writer from somewhere and publish it. The New York Times did one this year by a Christian from a Jewish background who, guess what, prefers Christmas to Chanukah. 

Our own local Centre Daily Times grabbed one of these columns—from out in San Diego, and presented us with two time honored Chanukah ambivalences. Lest we enjoy our holiday, we are warned (1) that it is a MINOR holiday—not one for too much celebration—and (2) that we should NOT give our children presents. Talmudically, Chanukah is a minor holiday. However, over the 2000 years since, lots of things in Judaism have changed. We no longer offer sacrifices in the Temple in Jerusalem.  Sukkot and Shavuot have decreased in significance. Yom Hashoah  and Yom Ha’atzmaut have been invented. And, Chanukah has morphed into something very important and very celebratory. It is our Jewish way of standing up as Jews against the tidal wave of Christmas that seems to overwhelm everything in its path. Just as the Maccabees stood tall in their Jewish Identity—fighting both culturally and militarily against Hellenism, modern Jews affirm their Jewishness and feel pride as they celebrate a Jewish holiday at this season of the year.

As for gifts, the prophet cries, “Children don’t need any more things! Charities need gifts, not your children!” We all struggle with materialism, and we all figure out our limits. We  all also realize our obligation to help the poor, and we all figure out how we can help—and how we can teach Tzedakah to our children. However, why cannot children enjoy the gifts of the holiday? Why is it necessary to make parents feel guilty about indulging their children and showing them love with gifts? Why must some begrudge us the joy of giving and receiving gifts? True, if we were starving on the Oregon Trail or in Theresienstadt, we’d have to make do without new toys, but we are not starving on the Oregon Trail or in a concentration camp. We are shepherding our families through a very difficult time—with disruptions and separation and fears, and it seems to me that this is the perfect time to brighten our children’s lives with gifts. Yes, there are problems in the world, and we certainly have a responsibility to help solve them, but there is nothing wrong with celebrating joy when it comes to us. There is something very small-minded and sad about criticizing others who are having fun. As Rebbe Nachman used to teach: “Mitzvah gedolah lihiyot b’simchah tamid. It is a great mitzvah to be happy all the time.” Chanukah is a time for joy on many different levels. It is a mitzvah to celebrate when God gives us reason!